Before we met.
I was pretty young. I was 15 years old and dating one of the most wonderful men ever. Okay, so maybe I can't call him a man because he was 16 but he was very gentle, mature and treated me like a princess. His name was Andrew and he played bass. He was very exciting to me as music was a huge part of my life when I was younger. I'd met him through a friend who was also in a band. At this time in my life, everyone I knew or wanted to know was in a band or involved in music some way, and so was I. You see..that's how we met.
I was doing my part booking bands at a dive bar whilst also pepping around town passing out those handy flyers that tend to go from one person's hand to the ground or trash and occasionally make it into a pocket or two. Yes, that was me, dressed to impress - baggy jeans and a cute band tee, tonnes of bracelets and these sweet hightops that I got from Kmart the previous year - all worn in and grunged out. I was indeed a promoter.
I didn't book my prince charming's band, no Andrew's band wasn't quite up to par yet and wasn't ready to start gigging. But I did book the lady charmer's band. To be quite honest when I had first met him he did not impress me at all. He was short and had some odd facial hair growing in, a little ginge in the face and really pale. He had braids - corn rows from ear to ear and this look in eyes like he wanted to devour you. (And he quite frankly did want to devour every woman under the sun) But like his pet nickname James - was a lady charmer.
James was what I like to call poisonous. If you're a woman you know exactly what I mean because you probably have male friends and family that you see constantly having some spell over every woman or all your friends are drawn to him. That was James. If you're man - you wouldn't understand, because you, you men, you have NO IDEA when you are under a spell of a man charmer. You men just get obsessed, emotional then overcoming(and very much still attached). Yes, that James boy had struck me.
I'm not sure why James would have me at all. As a friend or a girlfriend or an inbetween - whatever that is. I was nothing special, in fact I was always the hefty one who never had a problem with confidence - so I always had a boyfriend or relationship brewing - but by all means I wasn't the most popular, I didn't have any special talents, I was just - a victim. A victim who fell under the charms of someone of great power. Enlightening others and hurt myself, hurting my prince.
I can tell you the exact moment I fell for him. Being the the punk rock grunge chick that I was I headbanged and skanked like all my musical magical girlfriends did. Only I had drank in excess leaving me quite wobbly in the pit. I was watching James' band and really showing some dedication to the snares of his sound a slip, crack and crumble later I was down and out.
My boss came to resue, picking up the pieces, one - me, two - my phone and three - my glasses. I carefully watched fromt he backstage VIP lounge until he was done. No no no that was not "the" moment. "The" moment was when he came over super concerned and gave me a massage(because I could not longer hold my own head up!). It was with his concern and sauve touch that my heart melted right there in his hands.
Weeks went by and I booked him for a few more gigs, months even. We got closer. I had something he wanted and he had something I wanted. I don't know what it was about him that made me so drawn to him. I had a fabulous boyfriend that was more than equipt to make me happy. I suppose at the time forbidden things seemed way more inticing. And that's how I broke Andrew's heart.
I'd been honest with Andrew and told him about all time I had been spending with James and our intimacy. I didn't hide it from him. He xplained to me that he had forgiven me and wanted to still be with me but I'd ended things. I couldn't bare being the one to hurt someone else like that. I just wanted to put it in the past. It was later I learnt that James' had a girlfriend, and that I was doing my fair share of hurting people at this time.
The knowledge of the girlfriend had hurt me to an extent but I wasn't sure what I was looking for then. I just knew that he had it. And I hated it. I hated myself and most of all I hated him. out time together threw my into bouts of sadness and psychotic-ishly mean messages followed by remorse and making up.
You might be confused a little by this short story of before met seeing what you call meeting someone may differ from what I call meeting someone..but I think if you stick around you'll see..there is much more to this story than meets the eye and you will begin to relate in every way. Until next time. oxox
2 February 2009
Before we met.